trillow:

"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"

jzul:

FINGERS ARE SO IMPORTANT I CANT EVEN IMAGINE MY LIFE WITOUT MY FINGERS I AM GETTING VERY EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW

i-wanna-be-stereotyped:

I wish my friends would take random pictures of me when we hang out because I’m an arrogant prick and I want more pictures of myself that aren’t selfies.

multiplaying:

multiplaying:

so why does the flexed bicep emoji hands looks like a sloth

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(Source: invades)

bitchday-cake:

 ☽ paler&prettier than the cast of twilight ☾
h4te:

x
Okay, so i just have to fucking point this out…

samanthakaynielsen:

This little girl

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Is going to grow up

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And find out

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About all of these

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And spend her life

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Wondering

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What the fuck happened

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Because you little shits

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Cannot contain yoursleves